During the ASEAN meeting, all PM of the ASEAN countries were present
except for Goh Chok Tong who was represented by LKY.

During a conversation, Dr. Mahathir of Malaysia says, "I came up with
a bright idea to produce Proton cars and with a initial investment of
M$1 billion, we now make M$50 million a year. That is what I call
Money Mind."

Mr. Suharto of Indonesia says: "I am going to start a car manufacturing
plant to produce our National car for only $500 million RP and it will
generate $50 RP million a year. Isn't that smarter."

LKY of Singapore was no impress and say, "I told my Land Transport
Minister to spend SGD$500 to buy a old printing machine and also made
SGD$50 million a year."

Everybody was taken aback and asks "What the fuck can you do with just
SGD$500 only ?"

And LKY replied "I use the machine to print COE !!!"

When Mahathir was visiting Singapore, PM Goh though he'd show the
M'sian Premier Singapore's Telecommunication capabilities. As the
M'sian entourage was touring SingTel's corporate HQ, being shown
all it's new telecom technology, Dr. M noticed a strange telephone
sitting in one corner of the room. Walking over, he found the phone
glowed dark red, and had weird occultic symbols where numbers ought
to be. He turned to ask the SingTel representative what it was.

The rep stiffened momentarily, then answered, "It's a hotline to
hell, Dr Mahathir."

Curious, Dr M wanted to give it a try. Picking up the handset,
he heard a rumbling demonic voice, "Please deposit S$10,000 for the
first minute."

When Dr. M returned home, he called up the Minister responsible for
telecommunications and told him of his discovery.

The minister then said, "Oh, we have that too, sir. We just don't
like to talk about it."

"Let me see it." said Dr. M.

So the minister brought Dr M. to see the phone. Sure enough, there
was the same deep red phone with the symbols. Picking up the phone,
he heard the same demonic voice announce, "Please deposit 50sen for
the first minute."

Surprised, Dr M. asked the minister why the call was so cheap compared
to Singapore.

"Oh, here it's a local call."

One day, one Mat Salleh from USA arrived in Subang Airport. After
he checked out from the Custom, he felt that he wanted to go to
the toilet, so he looked for a toilet. When he found the toilet,
there was an old lady sitting in front of the toilet.

When he was about to enter the toilet, the old lady stopped him
and said forty cents in Cantonese (Say Kok), the Mat Salleh just
wonder why in Malaysia, they have to "see the cock" (forty cents
in Cantonese) before entering the toilet.

So he said "No", but the old lady insisted. Since he got no choice,
he took out his cock and showed to her. The old lady said "no, no,
no, Duit, Duit" (money in Malay) but the Mat Salleh misunderstood
again because he thought she said "DO IT, DO IT"

So, he asked "NOW, HERE?"

The old lady just reply "YES, YES" because she does not understand
English.

The Mat Salleh thought she agreed to have sex with him, so he strip
up the old lady and make love to her, but the old lady was screaming
and said "SAKIT, SAKIT" (pain in Malay) and again he thought is
"suck it, suck it" so he said "OK, I will suck it for you" and take
the breast and sucked.

The old lady again screamed "Oh, TUHAN!" (Oh, My God!... in Malay).

The Mat Salleh misunderstood again. "Too HARD, OK sweet heart, I will
be gentle a bit, OK?" the Mat Salleh replied.

Suddenly the Security Office walked by, and the old lady was asking
for help, "TOLONG, TOLONG, ENCIK." (Help, Help...in Malay). But on
the other hand, the Mat Salleh replied "Not too long, just about 6
inches only."