An elderly man tells his wife that he's signing up for social security. She says, "You can't do that, you lost your birth certificate."

He says, "Oh, I'll talk them into it."

So when he returns the next day, he smiles and says, "I'm all signed up and there were no problems."

"Well, how did you do that?" she asks.

He replies, "I took off my shirt and showed her all the gray hair on my chest, and then showed her all the gray hair on my head."

His wife states, "Well, why didn't you drop your pants, we could have gotten disability!"